Dear Tabetha,

Poll #1503034 Lives of the Saints
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 3

Have you read this book?

If Yes, how do you rate this book?

If No, do you intend to read this book?

Lives of the Saints on Wikipedia (Beware, probable plot spoilers)

There was no book posted 2 years ago…

Dear N,

How many inebriated letters am I going to write you, honestly?

You were on my mind too much last night, all things considered. (Tonight as well, of course, but it's not quite so inappropriate to be thinking of you tonight).

There's still that part of me that's so convinced you feel something. (Half of my heart's got a real good imagination). Or why else would you still be prodding at me, putting in just enough contact to keep my latent hopes alive?

Goddamn, this isn't fair. You're always just on the edge of my mind, just barely on my thoughts, but you always stay there. I can't tell Colin I love him because it wouldn't feel fair to him- or myself, or even you- to tell him that even if I know it's true, when I still have these feelings for you. What the hell is this? What keeps us attracted, what keeps us coming back to one another? Why do we have to make it so hard for each other to forget? It's hard to explain my feelings for you- I don't want you, but at the same time, I want nothing more than to be back in your arms. I do love Colin, and I'm happy with him- but I can't lie. Sometimes my mind just goes away when I'm with him, and I'm back with you, I'm back on the porch. I'm back to the last day before school when I pressed my leg against yours and told you I'd stay for one last movie. I'm back to the anxious, anticipatory way you looked up at me when I got the movie out of the DVD player and shifted in your seat, suddenly struggling to find words to cover your nervous excitement.

("Don't say a word, just come over and lie here with me, cause I'm just about to set fire to everything I see. I want you so bad I'll go back on the things I believe- there, I just said it: I'm scared you'll forget about me.")

But I am so afraid you'll stop. So afraid that one day, you will move on and leave behind whatever nothing this is without a backwards glance. That you'll do as I've done and find someone to really be with, someone who is allowed to openly love you. One day you'll find a girl you actually like, and actually want to be with, and I'm going to look at her and it's going to hurt. It shouldn't, because I am with Colin, and you'd be doing only what I have been trying to do since April. But I feel like you can't- just can't date anyone- it would just hurt too much, it would be so painful and humiliating to see you happy with her when I can't be perfectly happy without knowing you're somewhere in the background.

What in the hell is wrong with me? I want you, I want you so badly, I can't have you, I don't want you. I feel like IMing you, though I know it's a horrible idea- the next contact attempt has to be yours, doesn't it? I feel like that's the way this game works- it's your turn, and I can't explain why. (This is all me being high, and half of this is probably irrelevant). I won't IM you tonight- it would make me seem too eager, as you only commented on my facebook yesterday.

I haven't seen you at all this week, which is weird, but I think that's probably a good thing. I will tomorrow, however. Will I wear my silver rings, or my gold? We'll see.

Ugh, fuck this entire letter! Fuck my THC-fueled train of thought- fuck myself and inability to be satisfied with the amazing thing I have now. Colin has so much potential to be amazing. If he'd stop making so many declarations of love and how I'm the one and such I could be in love with him, real love- not what I feel for you. That's not love, that's infatua-

No, it's love, who am I kidding?

Fuck you.

S.

PS: This is going on the top five of embarassing letters to you.

Dear you,

Do you say and talk about this stuff just to purposely make me feel like shit? Or is that just like an added plus on the side for you?

Sincerely,
Me

dear yous,

( blah, )

no love,
-your daughters bestfriend.




dear you,

( blah. )

love,
your bestfriend.





dear boy,

( blah. )

sorry,
your girlfriend.





dear family,

( blah. )

love,
your daughter/granddaughter/cousin/neice

Dear Self,

Welcome back! I missed you so much!

Love,
Potentially Accusatory Conceit

me: you should see all the sweets we have in our house right now, its ridiculous! im going to be sooo fat after the holidays are over
him: i'm sure you wouldn't be fat youre so skinny to begin with
and a little later...
me: haha well im losing my beauty sleep just for you, so you better feel pretty special
him: ha its not like you need it

Dear Society,

I am not fat. My friends are not fat and neither is my mother and neither are my aunts. Between the lot of us, we cover sizes 00 to size 14. And do you know why we even have the 00 in this range? It's because many of us have or had eating disorders. Bulimia, anorexia, and compulsive exercising abound. But guess what, I am beautiful. My friends are beautiful. My mother and her sisters are beautiful. Stop telling us otherwise. Fuck you. If I want to eat over Christmas Break, I can. I should not be made to feel bad for having curves. Why are your beauty standards so fucked up?! I have news for you, bodies come in all shapes and sizes and they are all perfectly okay.

Piss Off,
The Angry Academic Bitch Who Is Currently Fighting Not to Restrict

Dear Alex,

You lost your phone...again?!

Jeez...

But I'm glad to know that why you probably didn't text me back...cause it was sometime around then I think that I had texted you.

I'm glad you're doing better in school...Its about time!! You only have 2 years left anyways. If you do well now then college and everything will be a lot easier...

I think it would be good for you to go to college. No one really thinks you will do well, and you're sister never went and we all expected her to. But if you go, and make something of yourself, then that would surprise everyone. Even me :)

I really hope you do make something of yourself....and that maybe this summer I can see you :)

I wonder...if I still like you?

Who knows?

~D


J,

I don't know how I feel about you. One minute I think I love you, next I don't know.

So I know that I don't in fact love you.

I don't know if I still like you....

My emotions are haywire right now....

You and Alex both confuse me....I don't know who I like, who I don't, blah blah blah.

But I just think that I don't like you anymore.

And its a relief.

~D


S,

Fuck you too.

I'm sick of you and your shit.

Grow up already.

~D


Self,

Get something done!!

~Me

Dear my two best friends in the world,

People think it is wierd for two guys and a girl to be a trio of best friends, but I mean, look at Harry, Ron, and Hermione?  I love you two so much, it hurts me to think about not having you with me after we all graduate this year.  Sure, we are all going to community college for a while after we go to school, but it won't be the same.  People always tease me and provoke me saying that girls just can't be FRIENDS with boys.  They can!!  I don't have a crush on either of you, and everyone else out there needs to see that.  You two are my brothers and it would kill me if anything happened to you.  Being with you all this week has opened my eyes to how much you two really mean to me. 

The little sister sends all of her love to her big brothers.  :)

Love, Me.

I vow to never play video games with you again.
Ten minutes = one team deathmatch game.
Twenty minutes = one sabotage game.
ONE game is like playing twice.

You turn into a jerk.
And I'm fucking done with it.

Icons
[001|040]New Moon
[041|060]Robert / Kristen
[061|088]Ashley Greene & Jackson Rathbone
[089|108]Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows
[109|120]Gossip Girl




So what if it hurts me?
here at heimweh26

Poll #1502801 At Lady Molly’s
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 10

Have you read this book?

If Yes, how do you rate this book?

If No, do you intend to read this book?

At Lady Molly’s on Wikipedia (Beware, probable plot spoilers)

*2 years ago…Slash*

social convention

Dear Someone,

I am literally sick with envy right now. Why?! She is eighteen, like me, her life hasn't even started yet. Why am I so jealous? Who knows if she will make it through school now? Or find a good enough job to support herself and her baby? Who knows how long her boyfriend will stick around?

But maybe that's it. Maybe I am jealous because someone wanted her that much. I've never even had a boyfriend, pathetically enough. And as a result of someone wanting her that much, she gets a person who will love her unconditionally because she is his mother. Her child. Her baby. Her son. 

I will never have that. No one will ever want me that much. I am too tall, too ugly...never, ever good enough. I will never know the love of a man...or a child. 

I feel empty right now. And incredibly, terribly selfish. I need to think of her, not me.

Ashamed and sad,

Me 

Dear You,

When are you going to realize that I need serious support and intervention on your behalf? I don't need words, I don't need you telling me that you love me (because we both know that's a lie). What I need is for you to take a moment out of your busy schedule and help me get back on my feet. But that's too much to ask, is it? You won't do it, I know you won't. I guess I am worth that little.

- Me

What is your first name?
Kelli

What is your age?
21

Where are you located?
-AZ

What are 5 things you wish to accomplish in life?
1. Scuba dive
2. Sky dive
3. grow a garden that can feed my family for a summer
4. be a good mother to my bf's daughter and have some kids of my own
5. stay true to myself

What are 5 things you are proud of already accomplishing?
1. I'm a great step-mom :)
2. I'm getting close to graduation (yay for boosted GPA this semester)
3. I started a local book club


What makes you happy?
Baking, gardening, my religion, my bf, my pets

What's one thing that really irritates you?
When people cut me in line when I have to pee

Who is your greatest influence?
Myself. I've become exactly who I've always wanted to be.

If you could change one thing about the world, what would it be?
People would realize when they were being hypocritical and douchey.

Anything else we should know about you?
I'm awesome?

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse

* June 30, 2010
* Action/Romance
* Directed by David Slade
* Screenplay by Melissa Rosenberg
* Based on the novel “Eclipse” by Stephanie Meyer
* Cast - Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner, Ashley Greene, Billy Burke, Peter Facinelli, Elizabeth Reaser, Nikki Reed, Kellan Lutz, Jackson Rathbone and Dakota Fanning

In The Twilight Saga: Eclipse, Bella once again finds herself surrounded by danger as Seattle is ravaged by a string of mysterious killings and a malicious vampire continues her quest for revenge. In the midst of it all, she is forced to choose between her love for Edward and her friendship with Jacob - knowing that her decision has the potential to ignite the struggle between vampire and werewolf. With her graduation quickly approaching, Bella is confronted with the most important decision of her life

Source via rpattzdaily.

Dear you,

I honestly cannot apologize for the ridiculous way my friends and I have been acting tonight. It's late, we're delirious, and we're jerks. Everyone knows that. So, even though I know deep down inside that we're taking things way too far, I can't apologize because I definitely get my kicks from being a total asshole. Sorry. Not.

Dear you,

GOD. I can't stop thinking about you. I like you as a person. I definitely find you sexy as hell. I've been having those domestic fantasies (among other fantasies), but really. This isn't gonna work. I had planned to use this break to get you off my mind, but it doesn't seem to be working. You're girlfriend -- who's definitely a friend of mine -- would be pissed if she could read my mind. Just stop being so attractive, okay?

dylan,

you, are you next project. cause some guys are good.. but you could be great. i want to drive you crazy and make happy and i will not be brushed of gently. just saying..

Dear Sister,

Everyone laughs at the fat sister in a 'haha you could have been so much better looking' sort of way. People secretly pity you. "What a shame she didn't turn out like her sister."

I may weigh more than you do and you may be a motherfucking popular "well loved" scene queen (but it's lust, I assure you) but you have no right to talk down to me as if I an inferior. Don't talk to me like you are going through so much more than I am as if your life just means so much more. Your problems are not bigger, and even if they were they don't make you superior. Everyone goes through struggles. You are not elite for being 'burdened' with beauty.

I have moved out of the house, am living on my own with a job, rent, a band, taking care of a bedridden father that you don't give a shit about, and finding time to go back to college. You're still in high school at home where mom does your dishes. Do not talk to me as if you've seen so much more of the real world; as if you have this 'enlightenment'.

You make me hate pretty sisters. You make me hate thin girls.
You make me hate myself.

Fuck you,
To The Minute